The strangest feeling: you're still need your 'boyfriend' beside your loves onePS : because they have particular character. lol.
It doesn't mean my work not good enough,but sometimes I'm so dying to do something completely different....AARGGH!
This part
is very unpredictable. I never thought I would write this part. I was thought
the story will end in part 4 but here it goes. Our relationships is getting better.
We often debate a lot of things, especially anything related to our own life.
Conversation gets deeper and eventually up to about my relationship with other
people (read the story part 2 for the details). He's so upset about it. I was
upset also, because I think it would not be a problem anymore. Let past be the
past. In the midst of the fight, he told me that once he had a desire to get
this relationship to another level, even he had discussed this with his two
best friends. I was shocked! Totally shocked! I had a strange feeling at the
time. I did not feel happy even though its what I expected from the first. I
felt no differences because in the end I can’t be with him. I just wonder why
he did not say it after we are together again. Ah! this confusion, this regret.
This confusion and regret are useless. I already know the end. So right now I
will put all this feeling and thought aside, I just want to spend our
togetherness as much as possible and support each other. I believe God will
give us the best eventually.
Being a woman is so fantastic but also challenging, they should act like a real woman and being independent to survive
I know I should not write this
part arbitrarily because it don’t happen yet. Well, we can say it's a hope.
Hehe. Somehow I knew what the end would be like. I will be back to where I
should be, find someone and pursue my dreams. Somehow deep down in my heart, I
felt this intense relationship will slowly stretch and we ended up being good
friends. I know this is outrageous ... but my heart is telling me so. Heart
never tell a lie ...
My relationship
with the other guy is over. And okay, it's so shameless that I began to
contacted with him again. But who didn't do something like that? I mean,
actually I have no idea why I contacted him again. I do not remember it. And
FYI, he removed me from his bbm contacts when I was with the other guy. We
finally met and we talked a lot. And strangely, we talked about our feeling.
And then I found out that he just also realized, if it turns out he was really
losing me. Turns out, I am one person who meant the world to him. Really? I can
believe he said something like that. At that time I was not impressed with his
words. I mean, come on, how can be a person who don’t care about me at all
suddenly have absolutely different attitude. But after that, I can be sure that
I was someone significant in his life. This relationship getting intense. He
often shares about his life, from the past, family, future plans even the
smallest things. In this section, we even had a fight. Actually a trivial
thing, but I sometimes feel grateful that this relationship, although strange,
have a soul. I was still felt annoyed because this complex relationship gave me
emotionally exhaust that sometimes made me be very demanding, unconsciously. I
always reminds myself to act realistic, no feeling included.
I do
not dare to put an end to this section, because this relationship is not over.
I did not know how this would end. All I know for sure is I will be very sad. I
hope it would be the last time. He always told me and hope we will always be
friends and he wants to always be part of my life and always look after me. I
can only say, Amen.
This is the part I thougth never going to
exist. After a few days he resigned or maybe a month-I’m not sure, he called me.
Until now I still remember, I was stunned to see his name appear on my cell
phone screen. The call was not the last. We talked quite a lot and often. It
suprised me! We could talk! And the thing that suprised me even more, he showed
his emotion in front of me. It shows that cocky man just an ordinary man. Haha.
This relationship is going better. I could be more relaxed. We were more often
told stories and laughed along. But somehow I felt he did not really care about
me. My feeling, my interest, and my thoughts. Are these really going to be
better? But what is it anyway? Friends? Boyfriend? I did not know what to
called him.
This part just as same as the first. I was
dissapointed and at the same time felt bored. I did not get any good things in
this relationship. Sorry to say, but it really felt that way. It has to end.
But the worst thing I do not have any nerve to say it. Until at one moment,
when I accidently had a relationship with other guy, I did not pick his call
anymore. Clearly that I'm so selfish, but I did not have any choice. I have to
be better. This relationship is not going anywhere and plus he seems don’t need
me. I felt that I'm replacable easy enough. The reason was enough right?
After a long time, I finally gave in and
picked up the phone. He already knew I was close to someone. At that time I had
no feeling whatsoever and did not care. All of these feelings arise as angry
and disappointed. He tolerated it. The end of part 2.
This part is not my favorite part, but this
part is actually the beginning of all. I knew him from someone. Or rather I
knew from someone who knew if he says something nice about me. Oh Gosh! Even in
the first place, it was already complicated. And it made me curious about him.
Finally we really get acquainted. Not many things I could tell in this part
because just a little conversation that appeared. I even felt he did not really
want to know about me.
One day, he decided to resigned. I think
the world upside down. Normally I caught a glimpse of in the office or passed
in the hallway. Losing that little incident was quite excruciating. I did not
really know him but his pullout makes me almost losing my mind. Thanks to BFF
who made me straight! After a few days, everything started regularly and
decided to finally move on. This
relationship exists because we were able to met. So, it's over!